A Black Ultimatum
by charah.tastic
Summary: A take on what happened to make Sirius leave home for good until after Azkaban, of course . One shot, fluffy as a pillow, rated K for 2 naughty, naughty words. Read and review, please :


**A/N: I know I'm supposed to have been gone by now, but I'm pretty angry right now and I have no other way to vent my anger than this. So, enjoy.  
Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling.**

Sirius was sitting in his room with the Wireless Wizarding Network on the Muggle station. He was listening to a rather angry song that helped him deal with the anger and repulsion that he constantly faces at home during the summer holidays. Mrs Black's constant swearing and hitting and ignoring Sirius were no longer hurting Sirius's feelings anymore. He regarded his mother as an irksome mosquito who would only fly away when you isolate yourself. He rarely came out of his bedroom, and was counting down the days until he would go to Hogwarts. Remembering the countdown he had tacked to his wall, he jumped up and marked another day off.

'Only 7 weeks left,' he mumbled wistfully. He was halfway to his bed, when there was a loud _bang_! He jumped back in the nick of time, as his mother had blown the door off. Mrs Black bounded into the room, closely followed by an amused Kreacher. She grabber her soon by the collar of his shirt.

'WHAT IS THAT REVOLTING SOUND?!' she snarled, looking around the room. 'Muggle music?! Filthy, disgusting, obnoxious, loud, putrid _Muggle_ music?! Is this how I raised you you ungrateful vermin?' And with that, she pointed her wand at Sirius's wireless, and it exploded into dust.

'Let _go_ of me you barking woman!' growled Sirius, shaking out of his mother's steely grip. 'Don't _touch _me!'

'Oh don't worry about that, you filthy mudblood lover. I wouldn't touch something as impure as you!' she screeched. She then took a breath and turned her hateful gaze around the room. Her eyes landed on Sirius's bikini-clad Muggle women posters and motorbikes, and all the Gryffindor banners. Her eyes seemed to be on the brink of popping out of their sockets, while Kreacher giggled quietly. Mrs Black went up to one of the posters and made to rip it off the wall. It didn't. She turned to Sirius, with an almost predator-like look in her eyes. Sirius glared right back.

'Permanent sticking charms,' said Sirius, sneering. Hıs mother snarled swear words under her breath and contınued tryıng to remove the posters. She gave up, and rounded on her eldest son.

'Sirius Orion Black! I am _sick _and _tired_ of your Mudblood loving ways! No son of our will be sorted into-' she took a deep breath and shuddered. '-Gryffindor. You will either conform and write to that imbecile _Dumbledore_ about switching houses, or you will _leave _the Ancienct and Noble House of Black _forever_!'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Is that an ultimatum? Good. See you in the afterlife, you nasty old hag!'

Walburga gasped. Before she had the chance to curse her son into oblivion, he vanished on the spot. She screamed and roared and hexed everything in her sight while running down to the family tree. There, she blasted Sirius off the family tree once and for all.

* * *

Sirius was not surprised when he landed in front of the Potter household. He knocked quickly and looked over his shoulder in fear of his mother popping out from behind him. James answered the door, pleased to find his best friend there.

'Padfoot!' he exclaimed, giving his friend a tight squeeze. 'Come in, mate!'

'Ahh, Prongs, it feels so good to be here. Folks home?' asked Sirius, returning the hug.

'Nah, date night. So what brings you here? Hungry?' asked James, leading his best friend into the small kitchen, where a huge meatball sandwich was sitting on the counter next to a long parchment and quill.

Sirius looked sheepish. 'Did I interrupt something?'

James prodded Sirius in the chest. 'Yes, in fact, you did. I was writing Lily a letter and having an evening snack.'

Sirius leaped onto the sandwich and devoured it. 'Kreacher's been cooking horribly lately,' he explained between mouthfuls. He finished the sandwich in minutes, and downed a bottle of Tropicana.

'So, am I going to get an explanation, or am I just to accept that you're here and allow you to eat all my food?' asked James, slicing an orange.

Sirius grimaced. 'I was hoping I didn't have to explain. Basically, that old bitch gave me an ultimatum. Either I join Slytherin or I leave. So, because I love that old bitch so much, I decided to join Slytherin and come here to say goodbye.'

'Oh, I see. Well, good riddance. I never felt that you contributed anything to this friendship,' grinned James.

'Yeah, I'm not a true Marauder. Just pranking and laughing and playing Quidditch and stuff never really was my cup of tea,' smirked Sirius. He got up, and made his way to the door. 'Well, James Potter, it was horrible knowing you. See you at the other side of the Grand Hall in September.'

'Never,' grinned James. They were both quiet for a minute, then James spoke. 'Idiot.'

Sirius gave his barking laugh and ran back to tackle his best friend. 'So good to be home, Jamsie boy!'

James laughed, and pushed Sirius off. 'Welcome to the family, Pads! Now, first order of business.'

The boys straightened up and Sirius looked almost scared. James grinned with a glint in his eye. 'That sandwich you just ate was mine. Make me a new one.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and set to work. He owed that much to James, anyway.

**A/N: the first half was from the day I left to Turkey, and the second half is from today, the day I came back. Moody, aren't I? **

**Read, Review. **

**Charah ;D  
**


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